Woman 1st vs Isca 3

They say the weather sets the tone for a match. So when we rocked up to play ISCA 3s and were greeted by hailstones, thunder and what sounded suspiciously like Mother Nature growling, we knew we were in for a spicy one. Both teams, possibly traumatised by last season's battles, were visibly jittery—so much so that ISCA decided to pass us the ball... and we politely returned it. Very British of us all, really.

But soon, nerves turned to actual hockey. As the storm clouds cleared (a metaphor and a literal event), both teams began to find their rhythm. The breakthrough came thanks to the midfield absolutely bossing it—some slick play saw Georgie feed Kirstie, who whipped it across the D like she was auditioning for Bake Off and Martika said, "Yes chef!" and smacked it home off the backboard. 1–0. Cue celebratory high fives and at least three people trying to pretend they weren’t out of breath.

Before ISCA could regroup, the midfield went full fast and furious. A blur of shirts and stick skills saw Shauna, Kirsty, Jess, Paige and Kalena linking up like a perfectly synced girl band on tour. Suddenly, Kirsty found herself on the edge of the D, did that arched run (you know the one), and the ISCA defence obligingly parted like the Red Sea. She slotted it top left bin like a laser-guided missile. 2–0. Moses would’ve been proud.

To their credit, ISCA woke up just in time for the halftime whistle and came back swinging. Our defence? Absolutely unbothered. Nell and Emily started handing out block tackles like free samples. The bench? Living on a knife’s edge after a few heart-attack-inducing mistraps. But fear not, for Helen—previously known for “passing it to the backline for reasons”—was reborn, scooping up loose balls and sending them to safety like some kind of hockey Gandalf: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

Joey, in goal, suddenly got very popular with the ball but held firm, turning away shots with the calmness of someone doing the weekly shop.

After a halftime pep talk from co-captains Shauna and Kirsty (firm, inspirational, possibly featured finger-pointing), and some high-quality water chugging, we were back out. The forwards, clearly channelling Tuesday night drills, were slicker than a buttered otter. Then came Edie, who did the ultimate keeper humiliation move—poking it between their legs with all the cheek and style of a seasoned nutmegger. 3–0. Delicious.

ISCA, to their credit, weren’t giving up. But North were in full fortress mode. Gaby and Sofia treated us to some dazzling spins and silky stickwork that probably left a few defenders dizzy enough to need a sit-down.

Jess, wielding her signature thunderbolt pass, was causing chaos at the back for ISCA—though our forwards were occasionally left chasing it like a pub quiz team hunting for the last chip on the plate.

The final few minutes? Absolute heart-in-mouth territory. ISCA earned some short corners and tried every trick in the book. Our defence, forgetting masks are supposed to come off at some point, stayed welded in place. But we held them off like champions. Final whistle: 3–0.

Another game down. Another win in the bag.